Truth will set you free

Or is it? Well, it just did set me free.

Aarghh, I don't know what to say/do after the unfortunate incident. I've told my close friend about someone I'm starting to like. Well, we've talked about it before and we came to terms that, if ever, it should not be someone from his circle of friends.

It's no wonder that he liked me from the start, but I've told him that all I could offer is friendship. As the clock tick, he fell in love. Dang, could I blame him? I don't know, probably not.

Is it my fault or am I a victim of circumstance? His best friend in that circle is my companion going home. At first, I didn't thought I would feel something for her. But as time pass; it seems that I look forward for dismissal as I know that I would get to be with her, even for just less than an hour.

We had a few funny experiences along the way, one time, the FX taxi we're in, broke down. The driver asked all the guys to help push it just so it can start. Out of the 10 passengers, only 3 are guys that include me. Good thing, there's an officer and another man who helped. Bad thing, we're in the middle of Welcome Rotonda, plus its rush hour, there's traffic jam and there's a lot of people but it's all good. I thought it's funny more than anything else.

Is it my fault to fall for someone? Did I fall or did I let myself to? Well, it's hard, as I really didn't plan anything. All I wanted was to make everything just feel normal, even it isn't. That's why I always accompany her going home. Just so that she doesn't think there's something going on.

I knew from the start that she would never replace their friendship, that’s why I try to keep it to myself but me and my close friend has no secrets whatsoever, that’s why I expressed it to him. I also think that, it’s hard for me to keep it to myself. I thought it’s going to be doubly hard for him when he would know it in the future, that’s why I told him already.

Well, there's still a lot to say but I can't clearly remember right now as my mind is so confused. Not only did I lose a companion going home, but also several friends along the way. :'c

Losing someone

I knew losing someone, be it a friend or a sibling, is really hard to stomach. Especially, when you've grown close together, or been used to having/seeing him there.

My brother was away for months and he returned just yesterday. He stayed in our province and lived with our relatives there. I actually missed him, his stinky smell, his silly questions, his laugh — everything. Currently, he has stopped school due to financial problem, in which he had a large part of, details soon (probably another post). Well, he's lazy anyway so it's all good. When he was just a kid, he performs well in class but as he grow older and older, his priorities were videogames, basketball, school, probably in that order.

I'll feel a little guilty if I don't excel this semester because I have a chance to study while my bro has to stay at home. Also, I know now what the professors tell us everytime, Have a little shame on your parents who work hard for you to be here at school, blah blah blah. I want to dedicate this sem to my bro. Hopefully, I can manage even if the subjects are a tad difficult than before.

Another thing, I feel I have lost a couple of my close friends, one was on the other section while the other has transferred school. I'm really sad when I knew that it was the case this semester. I've been close to them just recently, but I actually feel like I've known them for years. A friend of mine told me maybe there's a reason for it, maybe it will make us become closer, etc. I think he has a point but their presence is really what I miss. I don't know, I just feel comfortable around them. I missed our text messages, phone calls, etc. Oh well.

I know I'll feel this way when I lose someone: (Ephram Brown to Amy on Everwood) "You know, after my mom died, everybody told me that I was gonna be ok. That, it would take a little time, but I would heal. Well, that didn't ever happen; not really anyway. . . What you're feeling right now Amy, it doesn't ever really go away — not completely. It's not like, ya know, you're gonna go back to being the person you were before they died — the person's gone. It's more like something inside of you breaks and your body finds a way to compensate for it. Like if you busted your right hand, you figure out how to use the left one. And sure, you might resist for awhile because you're pissed off that you have to learn all this stuff again that nobody else does. Eventually your body takes over and figures it out for you. And your glad. because if it was up to you. . . you'd look at your broken hand forever and try to figure out what it was like before."