Love life (or lack thereof)


When I was 11, I found myself in a threesome. No, not the ménage a trios thingy. It involved me, a gal, and a phone. I know it still sounds awful, but it's actually sad. If I'm not in their house, she's in ours. Sometimes she'll call, often times, I call. My days are really characterized by her actions. Well, my world was really that small.

It was really easy to mistake infatuation for love then. We were young, innocent and naive.

I actually had my first crush when I was on kinder. I could remember vaguely the times when I would look all neat just for her. I still could see her in the neighborhood but she doesn't know about it.

My mojo seems to be most effective on no one in particular. The pretty gals — well, I know they're out of my reach. So I've always fallen for the supporting character.

During grade school days, every grade from 1-6, I have a different crush. Every occasion, ranging from Christmas to Valentines, I give them gifts, to show them how I feel; I'm a shy type eh.

High school days were no different. In the first year, I experienced my first rejection. It hurt me so much that I cried for the first time because of a girl. Dang! Well, courting her for 6 months isn't enough for her to tell me straight in the face that she doesn't want anything to do with it. She just told my best friend and he relayed it to me. I called her and she asked me if it's alright, come on, what should I say? I just muttered, "I'm fine." Well, I wasn't but that's the way life goes.

As a junior in high school, I began my career in love. Shortly after less than three months, I retired. There was a third-party and I have to break up with her. It's really hard when you started losing trust on someone.

As a senior, another rejection came my way. Reason: She doesn't think it would work out. How did she know? Is she a psychic? Maybe she said that because it's less harsh than, I don't like you, which I would understand better.

College life is really fun but my luck with love is still stagnant. On our first year, I had a crush on someone but she fell for my cousin. Ouch. It's really awkward because he's my cousin; he's my companion after school. Oh well.

After that, check out my other post, confessions of a broken heart, that's the next.

Second year, there were no happenings at all. I'm contented with study and friends.

Then, third year, I've indulged myself into a fling. Guess what, it didn't last.

And now, I'm still in third year, nothing has changed.

Anyway, ending romances is just like a pastime. It has a start and a finish. Even now, equipped with a record of relationships and flings, nothing can trounce the heartbreak of my first non-love. I'm actually not afraid of rejection; I'm used to it, which makes me more or less numb in the process.

Maybe we grow up to be stronger, but sometimes there are certain things in life that still make you feel like a kid again.

Pacman eats Morales alive

Revenge is definitely sweet.

Pacquiao, got his payback for a unanimous decision loss to Morales last March 19, powered his way to a couple of knockdowns and a 10th-round TKO in a junior lightweight fight before an enormous crowd of 14,618 at the Thomas & Mack Center.

Manny proves all critics wrong who said, yeah right, when he said that the gloves made a difference in their first bout. I'm not a boxer but with the result, I think it does. I'm just wondering why they say that it's just the gloves, when it's stipulated in the contract before that they should both use the foamy Winning gloves? If it's not that important, I guess they should leave the glove thing as ease, let 'em wear what they want.

Enough with that.

Even though there's no title at stake in their match, plenty of national pride was, as possible the best fighter to come out of our homeland who stopped the legendary Erik Morales, who never suffered a legitimate (he was punched to the canvas one time by Barrera in their first epic bout, but many thought it was an incorrect decision by the referee) knockdown in his entire career.

A left hook whacked Morales down to his knees. He clutched the ropes and attentively took an eight-count from referee Kenny Bayless before escalating to his feet. But moments later, Pacquiao landed a duo of right hands that banged Morales down yet again to his knees, and Bayless called it off at 2:33 without a count.

Pacquiao wobbled Morales in the second round with a left hook, sending him faltering backwards and clutching the ropes to hold him up in what could have been ruled a knockdown.

Pacquiao began stunning Morales in the sixth, heaving him with rights and lefts as the Filipinos in the crowd began to chant his name.

Morales nearly went down at the end of the round as he again grabbed the ropes to stay upright, but Bayless didn't call it.

It didn't matter, as long as Pacman got the W, it's all good.

Dang hypocrites

Hypocrisy also refers to the act of criticizing others for behavior which one
engages in as well, or in other words, not practising what you preach. An
example would be a parent who smokes, but admonishes their adolescent child not
to smoke. Some people believe that most, if not all people are hypocrites since
we constantly criticize what we deem to be bad behavior, even though most people
do bad things at some point in their lives.

That's from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Anyway, I really do not like hypocrites. That's why I do not like my sister and my neighbor at all.

First off, I'm really annoyed with my sister's voice, it's so loud, even the decibel couldn't measure the loudness of her normal tone (sounds shriek to us). She always sound angry and that is really irritating, even when she's talking to our folks. Well, I always use the computer and it's close to our telephone. When she would talk to her boyfriend, it's impossible not to hear her scream or irate, which makes me even more peevish.

Alright, it's not hypocrisy, I'm just giving a background check.

Here goes, I'm actually patient, contrary to what my father is, (like father, like son? well, no) but I easily get fed up with my sister. The latest happening was when she came down from their room and asked me hysterically why didn't I hear out the announcement from the outside (it's about the water disconnection thingy), well, I'm actually on the phone when that happened. So, I just said, "I'm talking to someone eh," followed by, "as if you don't do that too."

Well, she did in fact did something similar. She was talking on the phone and the doorbell was rung. After a few minutes, no one answers the door, my father from upstairs looked down and saw our resident newspaper-neighbor-distributor who's going to collect the payment for the week. My father went down the stairs to the front gate like a wind… if the wind is a 50+ year old man with short hair. He went ballistic with my sister who's busy talking on the phone. I think he has the right to because the phone is just in the living room, where a door and a few feet separates it to the gate.

I know it's really shallow, I'm just annoyed.

Next, our neighbor. Our @!@#ing neigbor, who can't stand our dog's bark in the morning.

Well, he's a cute dog, look at him. He's a mixed-breed of Japanese Spitz and some road-lurking dogs, but still he looks cute. Anyway, before, he was in a cage, near the front gate. Every morning, he wants to get out to pee and do his thing, but my grandfather wakes up way late that's why our dog keeps on barking and barking. Then, after a few days of the same routine, my neighbor told my grandfather that they would report the dog-barking incident as they can't take it anymore. What did we do? Yeah, we went at the front of their house and threw some eggs. Well, I'm just kidding. We compromised by sending our dog in the 2nd floor where he can roam around freely. If you would look at the picture, that's the tiles from his newly found home.

Where's the hypocrisy? They have their own set of dog. A chihuahua and a golden retriever. They make some noise too, not just in the morning but also during: when someone arrives, when the gate is open, when a car parks, even now as I type this. What gives?

Oh well. I know it's just a pretty light situation but I just wanted to share. 🙂

Truth will set you free

Or is it? Well, it just did set me free.

Aarghh, I don't know what to say/do after the unfortunate incident. I've told my close friend about someone I'm starting to like. Well, we've talked about it before and we came to terms that, if ever, it should not be someone from his circle of friends.

It's no wonder that he liked me from the start, but I've told him that all I could offer is friendship. As the clock tick, he fell in love. Dang, could I blame him? I don't know, probably not.

Is it my fault or am I a victim of circumstance? His best friend in that circle is my companion going home. At first, I didn't thought I would feel something for her. But as time pass; it seems that I look forward for dismissal as I know that I would get to be with her, even for just less than an hour.

We had a few funny experiences along the way, one time, the FX taxi we're in, broke down. The driver asked all the guys to help push it just so it can start. Out of the 10 passengers, only 3 are guys that include me. Good thing, there's an officer and another man who helped. Bad thing, we're in the middle of Welcome Rotonda, plus its rush hour, there's traffic jam and there's a lot of people but it's all good. I thought it's funny more than anything else.

Is it my fault to fall for someone? Did I fall or did I let myself to? Well, it's hard, as I really didn't plan anything. All I wanted was to make everything just feel normal, even it isn't. That's why I always accompany her going home. Just so that she doesn't think there's something going on.

I knew from the start that she would never replace their friendship, that’s why I try to keep it to myself but me and my close friend has no secrets whatsoever, that’s why I expressed it to him. I also think that, it’s hard for me to keep it to myself. I thought it’s going to be doubly hard for him when he would know it in the future, that’s why I told him already.

Well, there's still a lot to say but I can't clearly remember right now as my mind is so confused. Not only did I lose a companion going home, but also several friends along the way. :'c

Why?

How come we ask that question when we are faced with too much problems? When blessings head our away, did we ask why? Did we even say thanks? My answer is in the negative.

I'm guilty to inquire about the obstacles coming my way, but when good things happen, I'm so overzealous and forgot about thanking whoever made it possible.

Currently, I'm re-reading Purpose Driven Life, (Yeah, re-reading. I've read it before but my priorities right now are a bit of a mess) and I stumbled upon the line of struggling to accept things, that's why I'm typing this.

At first, it's really hard to fathom some things, but eventually, you'll have no choice but to accept those. I have a lot of things I'm struggling to understand, be it physically or something, and it's hard in the beginning but as time pass by, you forgot about it, and then, I just fail to notice it.

It's a cliché but there are really lots of people who are encountering much harder problems than you. And that's what I try to tell myself. And everything is all good when I ponder about it.

Boarding the wrong train

"It doesn’t matter where the train is going. What is important is deciding to get on."

Yesterday, I literally boarded the wrong train. I was on the different side of the tracks, didn't know it was bound elsewhere. After a couple of stations have passed, realizing my mistake, I quickly alighted.

I started thinking about my joyride and came to a conclusion that it's comparable to our life.

How many trains/bus/taxi have you allowed to go by in your life because you were doubtful of where they were headed? How often have you noticed yourself standing on the platform/waiting shed watching them come and go, trying to decide which one was the right one for you? There you rest, frozen in uncertainty, as the world around you revolves by.

In order to learn, we need our lives to stream like a river, keep it progressing. Seek out new things and be open to experiences are the first step, we just need to believe that this life will circle on us to where we want to be if we are conscious and take advantage of the opportunities handed in front of us.

The answers we are in quest of are not constantly right in front of us. We, from time to time, have to take a longer and farther route than we would have hoped for to reach our destination. Our journey may call for many trains; and if we hold ourselves back from boarding even one of the trains on our route, we may never really reach our goal.

So, the next moment a train/bus/taxi comes your way, climb on board and take the plunge of all the stuff you would have passed up had you let it go by.

"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there." – Will Rogers