When I was 11, I found myself in a threesome. No, not the ménage a trios thingy. It involved me, a gal, and a phone. I know it still sounds awful, but it's actually sad. If I'm not in their house, she's in ours. Sometimes she'll call, often times, I call. My days are really characterized by her actions. Well, my world was really that small.
It was really easy to mistake infatuation for love then. We were young, innocent and naive.
I actually had my first crush when I was on kinder. I could remember vaguely the times when I would look all neat just for her. I still could see her in the neighborhood but she doesn't know about it.
My mojo seems to be most effective on no one in particular. The pretty gals — well, I know they're out of my reach. So I've always fallen for the supporting character.
During grade school days, every grade from 1-6, I have a different crush. Every occasion, ranging from Christmas to Valentines, I give them gifts, to show them how I feel; I'm a shy type eh.
High school days were no different. In the first year, I experienced my first rejection. It hurt me so much that I cried for the first time because of a girl. Dang! Well, courting her for 6 months isn't enough for her to tell me straight in the face that she doesn't want anything to do with it. She just told my best friend and he relayed it to me. I called her and she asked me if it's alright, come on, what should I say? I just muttered, "I'm fine." Well, I wasn't but that's the way life goes.
As a junior in high school, I began my career in love. Shortly after less than three months, I retired. There was a third-party and I have to break up with her. It's really hard when you started losing trust on someone.
As a senior, another rejection came my way. Reason: She doesn't think it would work out. How did she know? Is she a psychic? Maybe she said that because it's less harsh than, I don't like you, which I would understand better.
College life is really fun but my luck with love is still stagnant. On our first year, I had a crush on someone but she fell for my cousin. Ouch. It's really awkward because he's my cousin; he's my companion after school. Oh well.
After that, check out my other post, confessions of a broken heart, that's the next.
Second year, there were no happenings at all. I'm contented with study and friends.
Then, third year, I've indulged myself into a fling. Guess what, it didn't last.
And now, I'm still in third year, nothing has changed.
Anyway, ending romances is just like a pastime. It has a start and a finish. Even now, equipped with a record of relationships and flings, nothing can trounce the heartbreak of my first non-love. I'm actually not afraid of rejection; I'm used to it, which makes me more or less numb in the process.
Maybe we grow up to be stronger, but sometimes there are certain things in life that still make you feel like a kid again.