Losing someone

I knew losing someone, be it a friend or a sibling, is really hard to stomach. Especially, when you've grown close together, or been used to having/seeing him there.

My brother was away for months and he returned just yesterday. He stayed in our province and lived with our relatives there. I actually missed him, his stinky smell, his silly questions, his laugh — everything. Currently, he has stopped school due to financial problem, in which he had a large part of, details soon (probably another post). Well, he's lazy anyway so it's all good. When he was just a kid, he performs well in class but as he grow older and older, his priorities were videogames, basketball, school, probably in that order.

I'll feel a little guilty if I don't excel this semester because I have a chance to study while my bro has to stay at home. Also, I know now what the professors tell us everytime, Have a little shame on your parents who work hard for you to be here at school, blah blah blah. I want to dedicate this sem to my bro. Hopefully, I can manage even if the subjects are a tad difficult than before.

Another thing, I feel I have lost a couple of my close friends, one was on the other section while the other has transferred school. I'm really sad when I knew that it was the case this semester. I've been close to them just recently, but I actually feel like I've known them for years. A friend of mine told me maybe there's a reason for it, maybe it will make us become closer, etc. I think he has a point but their presence is really what I miss. I don't know, I just feel comfortable around them. I missed our text messages, phone calls, etc. Oh well.

I know I'll feel this way when I lose someone: (Ephram Brown to Amy on Everwood) "You know, after my mom died, everybody told me that I was gonna be ok. That, it would take a little time, but I would heal. Well, that didn't ever happen; not really anyway. . . What you're feeling right now Amy, it doesn't ever really go away — not completely. It's not like, ya know, you're gonna go back to being the person you were before they died — the person's gone. It's more like something inside of you breaks and your body finds a way to compensate for it. Like if you busted your right hand, you figure out how to use the left one. And sure, you might resist for awhile because you're pissed off that you have to learn all this stuff again that nobody else does. Eventually your body takes over and figures it out for you. And your glad. because if it was up to you. . . you'd look at your broken hand forever and try to figure out what it was like before."

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