Dead man walking

My grandfather is probably feeling like a dead man walking. He was diagnosed with TB but it's curable. He should have overcome this disease long ago if he just followed the prescriptions, the medicines to take, apparently, he took it for granted and it's getting worse.

If every family has an issue this is probably one of ours. And its history can be traced up to my childhood. As far as I can remember, my childhood isn't great, it always seem a long day. They (my grandparents, lolo/lola in Tagalog) seem to argue every day. When my mother was off to work, I can't wait for her to come back. The clock ticked slowly like a snail inching to its destination.

It even came to a point where he threatened my lola by pointing a knife to her. We were just young then and it gave us the negative implication on him. Almost everyone here at home doesn't like him that's why he always go out and wander. He's popular around here in the village. He always loiter in front of our house and talks to our neigbors.

As we grow older, the argument lessened but still they can't just stop the heated conversations. I don't know why but for me their arguments are causing no good. Maybe it's causing us bad luck, who knows.

My only wish when my hair turns white and my face shows multiple lines, is that I don't feel like I'm not existing — don't want to feel like a dead man walking.

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